The Etiquette of Wedding Gifting and How Much You Should Spend

Few things feel more stressful than standing in the wedding registry aisle, or scrolling online, asking yourself, “What’s the right amount to spend on a wedding gift?” It’s a thoughtful question, and one that deserves a nuanced answer. Wedding gift etiquette has evolved over the years, shaped by tradition, cultural expectations, and practicality. And with everything from destination weddings to microwaved registries now in the mix, knowing how much to spend isn’t always as simple as picking a number out of the air.

There’s no universally correct amount, but there are some helpful guidelines that can make the process less awkward and more personal. From how close you are to the couple, to whether you’re attending solo or with a guest, here’s what to consider before you hit “Buy.”

The General Rule of Thumb

Most wedding experts and etiquette professionals agree that a reasonable wedding gift amount falls somewhere between $50 and $150 per guest, depending on your relationship to the couple and your personal budget. If you’re a casual acquaintance, coworker, or distant relative, something in the $50–$75 range is perfectly acceptable. If the couple is a close friend or family member, the gift often falls into the $100–$150 territory.

That said, context matters. You should never feel pressured to give beyond your means, and most couples understand this. A heartfelt card and a thoughtful gift, whether it’s $40 or $140, can go a long way. In fact, many couples prefer sincerity over extravagance, especially as more people shift toward minimalism and financial mindfulness.

Factors That Affect Gift Amounts

Your Relationship to the Couple

Your connection plays the biggest role. If you’re attending a coworker’s wedding, the expectations are different than for a sibling or childhood friend. The closer you are, the more you’re generally expected to give, but it’s always about effort and thought, not raw dollar amounts. Some people pool resources with friends or siblings to give a group gift, which can help you stretch your budget while still giving something impactful.

Whether You’re Bringing a Guest

If you’re attending with a plus-one, consider doubling the gift amount or choosing something at a higher price point. The idea is that your gift should reflect that the couple is hosting and feeding two people, not just one. That doesn’t mean doubling is mandatory, $150 for two people is still a perfectly respectable gift, but it’s good form to factor it in.

Your Financial Situation

There’s no shame in sticking to a lower budget. If you’re in school, saving for a big life event of your own, or dealing with unexpected expenses, it’s entirely okay to scale back. Many couples have registries with a wide range of options, and some even include “honeymoon funds” or group gifts where every contribution counts.

Do You Have to Cover the Cost of Your Plate?

One common myth is that your wedding gift should “cover the cost of your plate”, in other words, you should match or exceed the per-person cost the couple is paying to host you. While this rule may have once held social sway, it’s not widely expected today.

Modern etiquette experts generally agree that you’re not paying for your seat at dinner. A wedding is a celebration, not a transaction. Give what feels right, within your means, and from a place of joy, not obligation. The couple invited you because they want you there, not because they’re running a break-even spreadsheet.

Cash vs. Gifts vs. Registry

While physical gifts were once the go-to, cash and digital gift cards have become increasingly popular and accepted, especially with the rise of honeymoon funds and financial goals on platforms like Zola or Honeyfund.

That said, using the couple’s registry is still a smart move. It’s curated with items they actually want, and the price ranges are usually designed to offer flexibility. If you’re late to the registry party and most items are purchased, don’t be afraid to give cash or write a heartfelt note with a personal gift card. It’s better than buying something generic just to check a box.

When You Can’t Attend the Wedding

If you’re invited but can’t attend, you’re not off the hook, but you’re also not expected to spend the same amount. A gift in the $30–$75 range is typically appropriate for non-attending guests. Again, context and your relationship to the couple are key. If you’re very close and missing the wedding due to distance or scheduling, a more generous gift (or personal gesture) might be in order.

The key takeaway is that sending a gift, no matter how modest, shows appreciation and care, even if you can’t be there in person. Many couples remember those gestures for years.

Our Bottom Line

There’s no magic number, but a good wedding gift typically ranges from $50 to $150 per person, adjusted based on your relationship to the couple, whether you’re attending with a guest, and your financial situation. Thoughtfulness always trumps dollar signs, and giving within your means is the most respectful and appreciated gesture of all.

So don’t overthink it. If you’re asking the question, you’re already ahead of the game. Pick a meaningful gift, write a kind note, and celebrate love in a way that works for you.